Today marks one week since I've had my surgery. It's been a long week. I am still spending my days in the recliner elevating my leg. I haven't had too much pain, although today it's been feeling uncomfortable, almost like raw nerves behind my kneecap, with occasional charley horse pains in my calf.
On Thursday, everyone was at work and I was by myself for the first time since the accident. I was very proud of myself. I hobbled to my wheelchair with help of my walker and then managed to make a cup of coffee (although it was probably entertaining to watch me do!) I pulled the wheelchair up to the counter, grabbed on and stood on one leg, reaching for the cup. Then I wheeled over to the fridge and got water, and then pulled up to the coffee maker, once again using the counter to support me as I stood on one leg. I also got myself dressed. I've resigned myself to wearing sun dresses for the remainder of the summer. It's way too hard to put shorts on and pants are out of the question. Thankfully, Amazon came to the rescue and I ordered a few easy pull on dresses. Nikki had my makeup out and ready, so I even put on makeup! I almost felt normal. My hair, well, hasn't been washed in a week, so it went into a pony tail.
I did manage to join a couple of friends for lunch on Thursday, which is why the makeup. I was so glad I went, as it was nice to hang out with good friends and to be out in the world. I was a bit nervous getting ready to leave. I debated whether to bring my wheelchair or my walker. I decided that the walker would be easiest, since the only stop we were making was at the restaurant. My friend, Young patiently helped me to the car and drove, then helped me out. We met Sarah to celebrate her birthday. It was good to see them again. After two hours, however, my leg was ready for ice and elevation, so we went home. I'm sad I didn't get at least one photo.
This week I've also battled with emotions of this whole situation. I go from "I'm fine. It will all be good." to "I'm so stupid. How could I do this? I've never broken a bone before and now, after planning a really big trip, I'm immobile!" to "Why me?" But, what I've told myself is it's not going to change anything now, so make the most of it.
Today, Friday, is the week mark. It's also my 23rd wedding anniversary. No celebrating here today, although I did shower for the first time since surgery. It was a very hard and painful thing to do. We have a shower chair, but I have to stand on one leg to rinse and it's quite painful on the good leg and surprisingly painful and stressful on the bad leg. But my hair was finally washed and I didn't smell, so I guess it was worth it. But afterwards, I planted myself in the recliner and haven't moved since, except to use the restroom, and I'll only get up for that if really necessary.
I've had a couple of things on my mind this week. We have a big trip to Hawaii planned in two weeks. I've been tutoring after school for two years saving for this trip. The kids have never been and I wanted to show them where I grew up before they are off on their own. I didn't want this accident to spoil the trip. I had to change our car rental. No more sports car. Now it's a Honda Pilot, big enough to hold a wheelchair. I've called the different venues where we have reservations and all can accommodate a wheelchair, except the snorkeling boat. I'm a bit disappointed that snorkeling will be out and I'll be confined to the front of the ship, but I want to go for my family. We had hiking planned. We will still go, but most of it will be on paved paths, once again to accommodate my wheelchair. There is one that I think I'll encourage my family to go without me, but I'll be good. I am planning on renting a special beach wheelchair while I'm there. There is no way I can use crutches in the sand on one leg and there is no way I'm going to Hawaii without hanging out at the beach. I still need to call the airline. I'm hoping that maybe if I sound pathetic enough I may get an upgrade. If not, as everyone keeps reminding me, I'll be the first to board (in all honesty, I'd rather be last and not have this injury!). I did get "extra comfort" seats before all of this, which offers more leg room, so since I'm short, that may be OK. Another "bright side" is we have a handicap placard for the car, so parking shouldn't be an issue. (OK, I'm trying to remain positive)
Another thing on my mind a lot this week is school. I guess it's a "blessing" that this happened at the beginning of summer, giving me more time to heal. But I moved to a new school for this next school year. All of my "stuff" is sitting in my new classroom needing to be unpacked. According to what I've been told I'll be walking full time by the end of August...a month AFTER school starts. I'll think about that after the trip.
We have an exchange student staying with us for the next school year. I'm super excited to host her and have been looking forward to getting ready for her. I'm learning to rely on others to paint and get the room ready, but sad I don't get to do it.
So this week was full of emotion and a lot of time for me to think. I go to my post-op visit on Tuesday, and I'm really hoping: 1) the dressing comes of because it's HOT and itchy and I'm curious to see what's going on under it and 2) I can start bending my knee. I know it will be painful, but it's hard getting around in a totally straight leg. Of course, what I'd really like is the doctor to say, "It's a miracle. You're about healed. Go ahead and walk" but I know that's not happening. So, I'll be happy with any good news.
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